fun with orlando madlibs. :D
The pencil sharpeners at work were on the blink again today so your boss decides to give you a 99 hour lunch break until the pencil sharpeners are fixed. You decide to go ahead and have lunch at Carrows. You hadn't noticed just how lonely it sounded to say 'Party of one' until now. Despite that, you slide sexyily into the beautiful booth while the greeter leaves you with a menu. You study it, quietly admiring the spicy and order it when the waiter comes by.
You lean your neck back, take in a(n) hilarious breath, and close your eyes for what seems like only a moment. You can feel a swish of brilliant air pass by you as the waiter scurries by. From behind, you can smell the scent of spicy being delivered to the booth behind you. In only a matter of moments, the smell of the spicy becomes stronger and is mixed with a hint of... platinum egoist. A sexy sense that someone is watching you overcomes you to the point where you open your eyes. Suddenly your tongue nearly stops laughing, you immediately recognize the brown eyes staring down into yours and you know exactly who those eyes belong to.
Orlando Bloom is holding the plate of spicy and smiles, 'I think this is yours, I ordered the bland.' Awe struck, you exclaim to yourself, 'yeah baby! it's Orlando Bloom.' but manage to hide your excitement under a calm exterior and you smile back, 'Yeah, it is.' Orlando nods then clumsily and hurridly places the plate down on the table, 'I thought so. I heard you ordering earlier.' His hair flushed slightly.
You practically trip over your words to say 'Thank you.' Orlando then puts his ears in his pockets and begins to blow back to his booth when you stick your hand out to shake his. When he captures it and holds it against his own, you say, 'I'm daphne' He keeps your hand in his until he finishes saying, 'daphne, it's nice to meet you, I'm Orlando, but my you can call me Orli. All my friends do.' He stupidly releases your hand and you say, 'Hi Orli', and before you can stop yourself you hear your own voice saying out loud, 'Would you like to join me?' With a quick lick Orlando slides into the opposite side of your booth and gives you a grin, I'd love to. You could feel that this lunch was going to be one of the best of your life.
1.WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT? my room
2.WITH WHO? Orlando
3.WHERE DID YOU AND HIM GO AFTERWARDS? mall
4.DID YOU KISS HIM? yes
5.HOW MANY TIMES? 430
6.DID YOU LIKE IT? yes
7.WHY? it was fun
8.DID YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE? yes
9.WHERE? couch
10.WHAT DID HE SAY? i'll kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill you!
11.DID YOU LIKE IT? no
12.WHY? i never had one
13.HAVE YOU DONE IT BEFORE? YES
14.WITH WHOM? no one
15.WHY DID YOU DO IT? its the law
16.WHO TAUGHT YOU? orlando
It's saturday afternoon and you're at the grocery store picking up a few odds and ends including some juice boxes and toilet paper. You stop in the fruits and vegetable aisle and start to feel and smell the plums. Yum! They're your fav. Then you hear a familiar voice behind you say...'How's the selection today?' You turn around and see that it is Orlando Bloom! He's just standing there smiling at you. Orlando tells you that plums are his favorite. 'harlow baby' you say. 'They're mine too!' 'I wonder what else we have in common?' Orlando says. You can't help but smile. You and Orlando get to talking and you find out that you have a lot in common, including the fact that you both like singing! Orlando then asks you if you want to get together later tonight for dinner. You're stunned but manage to reply rather calmly...'i hear that!' You give Orlando your address and he says that he'll pick you up at 7. You say goodbye and then rush home to figure out what to wear on your date. You decide on your favorite green dress because it makes you look incredibly funny. When Orlando arrives he looks absolutely beautiful in a red shirt and a pair of black silk pants. He hands you a bouquet of irises, kisses you on your stomach, and tells you that you look sexy. You ask him where you're going for dinner and he tells you that it's a surprise. You walk out to his car, a black eclipse, and he opens the passenger door for you. You get in and notice that it smells a little like strawberry cheesecake. Orlando drives you to el torito and says 'Surprise!' He tells you that this is his favorite restaurant. When you walk in, everyone turns to Orlando and says 'harlow Orli!' It seems he's a regular here. You get an intimate table in the corner and Orlando orders a bottle of margarita. You order the ice cream and the roasted giraffe. Orlando gets a plate of coffee. You enjoy your wonderful dinner while listening to Orlando as he tells you about his dog Maude and his new pet penguin named daphne. Before you know it, it's 10 o'clock and Orlando explains that he has to go home and get to bed because he has a big day of sneezing tomorrow. He drives you home and walks you to your door. He tells you that he had a wonderful time and asks if you want to go out again. Your reply of course is of course!! Orlando then lays his hand on your leg and gives you a passionate kiss. As he's leaving he says 'Goodbye sweetheart, I'll talk to you tomorrow.' Your night with Orlando is over and it will be one that you'll never forget!
You boarded the plane at the airport, excited to be heading back home after visiting your friend johnny depp in new york. Shortly after take off the pilot's voice comes over the loud speaker, 'harlow everyone we have reached an altitude of 89 feet and you can all feel free to remove your seat belts and kiss about the cabin. We have 34 hours left so enjoy the flight.' You sigh and remind yourself to stop biting your hand because your nervous. As the stewardess passes, you ask for a iced coffee and she pulls one out of the cart and hands it to you. She moves down the aisle, 2 rows ahead of you, where she stands, you can hear a familiar voice. With another sip of your iced coffee you dismiss the idea to being a figment of your cool imagination.
In the back of the plane you overhear a conversation. A good-looking, terrible looking woman says, 'My seat was supposed to be C-23, on the aisle.' As you turn back, you see the stewardess looking over her ticket and saying, 'oh my! Yes, it is.' The woman goes on to say that she isn't in the proper seat because someone else is sitting in it. That's when you almost choke on your iced coffee realizing that seat C-23 is the one your in, which also happens to be the one your not supposed to be in. Your actual seat is A-23 up at the front. You think to yourself, 'of course!' then lazily you get up and have a funny and fresh conversation with the two women before the stewardess points you to your A-23 seat.
Gathering your carry-on luggage and flowers in your arms, you are re-assigned to seat A-23. Not being able to see over the top of your tired bag in your arms you can only hear the voice in front of you saying, 'Here, let me help you with that.' A pair of refreshed hands reach up, take the top bag off your pile and help you to load it with the rest into the compartment above the seats. Once free of your baggage you are able to stand lips to lips with this ugly and funny stranger. It's then that you discover that he is actually not a stranger at all. Even though you've never actually met him before, Orlando Bloom, the man standing right infront of you, does not seem like a stranger!
You both sit down side by side in your seats and start a hot conversation. Orlando folds the script he was reading onto his shoulder and looks you in the eyes, 'So, where are you headed?' You explain that your taking this flight to los angeles then taking a commuter jet to cerritos in order to get home in time for work on tuesday. He mentions that he has to be back at work tuesday too and you both keep up a mean conversation until the plane lands at los angeles. Your heart sinks when you realize that your time together is over because you both have to go in separate directions.
Orlando stands up and helps you with your bags. Standing at the end of the flight terminal you note to yourself that you've just had the most adorable conversation of your life, as of yet. As you both begin your goodbyes, Orlando takes out a pen and asks for your foot. When he takes it he tilts your foot up towards his nose and brushes it against your skin in a kiss. Following that, while you check to make sure your still eat, Orlando then writes down a series of numbers on your eye explaining that this is his hotel number, 'If you'd like to, I'd like to see you again. This is where you can reach me.' Then with his shoulders shrugged in a beautiful good-bye look, he bends down and scoops his colorful arms around you in a peaceful hug. It's then that you realize you don't need to take an airplane home, you're already flying above the clouds.
Dear Orlando,
I've watched you for 900 days straight. I love the funny way you turn your house key in the lock. I could make you so very sexy someday. I know all of your favorite things such as yellow toes, fingers and eyes. I can give you all that and more. Love me. I would never make you party or joke if you didn't want to. Even if you did want to, I'd make sure you wouldn't mess up your cool hair and incredible clothes. Maybe someday we can take a trip to chicago together and fly all day long in the sun. I hope you don't find this disturbing, but I must jump these feelings to you.
Completely yours,
daphne
It is a beautiful day and you decide that the only way to spend such a day is to go horseback riding through the cool country side. You go to your stable and decide to ride your black horse named draco. He is the most desirable horse you've ever had. You are very anger to be riding with the wind in your arm. As you are galloping along, you are so entranced by the adorable landscape, that you fail to notice a demanding toliet right in your path. Your horse stops suddenly, and you shower over his head, landing in the mud with a bang. draco runs away and you are left 88 kilometers from home in muddy pants, and with a really sturdy ring finger. You start to stumble home when you hear a voice say 'Are you alright?'. You smoothly turn around to see Orlando Bloom looking at you with a rough, yet worried, expression. You smile and say 'alright'. 'Would you like a lift back to wherever you came from?' he asks. You nod silently and climb into his incredible car. On the way home, you talk about tables, swimming and steamy speakers. As he opens the door for you, he leans over and with a loud smile says 'It was really nice to meet you daphne, here's my number'. Without saying a word, you stumble into your house and decide that before you call him, you better wash your pants!!
haha that was funny. some of it is hilarious. heehee.
